Smile, My broken hearted Soul
by TimelessTears
Summary: Not everything was fine and dandy after the final battle, some neither had the will nor strenght to move on. WARNING: Character death.
1. Chapter 1

Authors Note: I was felt like writing some angst and this was the result. I made up the crappy poem at end, so please forgive it for its crappiness.

Disclaimer: I don't own D.Gray-man.

**Smile, My broken hearted Soul.**

They hadn't meant to fall in love. It was just something that happened.

When Komui first found out, he did everything to keep them apart. Probably to spare them both broken hearts but he soon gave up after seeing Linalee so happy.

Now, Allen believes it would have been better if they had broken each other's hearts.

At least then it wouldn't be as agonizing as this.

Eight months ago, Linalee went missing on a mission. The rest of the team was found dead, but Linalee was nowhere to be seen. Back then there was hope that she was alive.

That hope was torn to shreds and scattered into the wind after the final battle.

Allen remembers vividly how he and the other exorcists checked the enemy's fortress to destroy what evil was left, so that history would not repeat itself.

That's how they found the dungeons. Dozens upon dozens of tiny cells filled with dead and decaying corpses of missing exorcists.

That is where Allen found Linalee.

_In a small cell,_

_Shackled to the wall,_

_Barely recognizable,_

_Decaying slowly._

That was how Allen found Linalee.

He never knew until that moment that his heart could break into so many tiny shards.

When he opened the cell door and stepped to unchain her, he stopped in the middle of the room.

_He could almost __feel__ the __memories__ of torture._

_He could almost __hear__ her screams of pain._

_He could almost __see__ the moment she broke._

_ …could almost see her blank eyes…_

With utmost gentleness he unshackled her mangled body and took it to the others.

Months passed by like sand falling in an hour glass. Komui grieved as much as Allen when he heard of his sister's faith, but managed to pull himself together enough to buy a plot for her under a tree in a peaceful graveyard, despite the fact that she was cremated with the other fallen heroes.

Allen did not attend the service.

He's incapable of doing a lot of things these days.

He can't laugh like he used to. There were no more real smiles. Sleep was wanted but it rarely came.

Food no longer holds appeal.

To walk past Komui without thinking that the other blames him for Linalees death was impossible.

Kanda insulted him every time he could; called him fool, bean sprout, midget, moron, and so on. Allen supposed in his own twisted way, Kanda was trying to bring a little of his old self back.

Rabi yelled at him several times to snap out of it, pleaded with him to let go, _begged_ him to move on.

He had gone numb by this point.

After three months had passed, he finally went to visit Linalee's grave. With him he carried a bouquet of black and red roses with passion flowers mingled in.

_Death_

_Love _

_Passion_

After laying them down he stood in front of the grave with empty eyes taking nothing in; he smiled sadly.

Then a whisper slipped through chapped lips.

"I'm sorry I couldn't save you." He told the grave as he took a pistol out of his coat pocket and pointed the barrel at his right temple.

"But if it's any consolation, I couldn't save myself either."

A single shot rang out in the autumn air.

_When rage was all I had left, _

_I wished you were still my gentle lover,_

_My heart led me to despairing ends,_

_So that I knew all flower died __in the summer winds._

_The tempting decision,_

_To just fall into the black,_

_To feel the longing and want,_

_To take everything back._

End.


	2. Chapter 2

Epilogue

His sister is dead.

His sister is _dead._

This was the only thought that ran through Komui's mind when he had heard the news. He had been able to pull himself together enough to buy her a grave plot, but besides that all he felt was grief.

To put it simply, he broke.

Not for the first time did Komui wish that it was he who had possessed the innocence, not Linalee.

The next ten months was a living hell for him as depression, guilt, and sorrow plagued him like demons.

He didn't talk.

He didn't smile.

He didn't do anything.

Of course he wasn't the only one falling apart. Komui was distantly aware that Allen was having a hard time coping with Linalee's death as well. He had passed the boy in the hallway several times and noticed the look in Allen's eyes were as haunted looking as his. Komui never blamed Allen for what happened to Linalee.

He only blamed himself.

River and the rest of the science staff did their best to keep him from drowning in his depression.

They probably should of focused more on Allen but assumed that since Rabi and Kanda were trying to help him it was okay to focus on Komui.

What they hadn't realized was that, while Linalee's death caused her brother to fall into despair, it caused Allen to become suicidal.

Komui didn't even realize it, until one day he was awoken to Rabi yelling at the top of his lungs.

"Has anyone seen Allen? I haven't seen him since yesterday, does anyone know where he is?!"

Komui doesn't know why, but after that simple statement, he reached over to his nightstand and opened the first draw.

The pistol he had always kept in there for safety reasons was missing.

And that was when he knew.

Opening up his door, he looked out to see most of the science staff telling Rabi they hadn't seen Allen either.

"I know where he is." It was the first thing he had said in a while and it had caused silence to fill the room.

"You do?" Rabi whispered after a moment. Komui nodded, before grabbing a jacket off a near by coat rack.

"Follow me."

* * *

When they had reached the graveyard, they were meant with a melancholy scene.

"Oh Allen no." Someone behind him said softly in shock.

There not but three feet from Linalees grave, was Allen Walkers' body. Blank blue eyes staring into nothingness, as red intermingled and stained white hair while brains were splattered all across the ground. Komui's missing pistol inches away from the the lifeless hand.

* * *

Things became worse after that day.

Komui was going insane and he knew it.

He saw them out of the corner of his eyes, the phantoms that haunted him daily.

He saw hallucinations of his both his sister and her loves' corpses. Their mangled bodies drenched in gore.

He felt their eyes burn holes in the back of his head. And sometimes he could hear them voice their thoughts to him through the wind.

_"It's all your fault."_

It was then that Komui realized you did not have to be asleep to experience nightmares.

* * *

Surprisingly it was his dearly departed mother that had saved him from becoming schizophrenic. He dreamt of her one day after his body collapsed from exhaustion.

_He was in a field of flowers, and in the far off distance he saw Linalee and Allen dancing and laughing without a care in the world. They both looked normal here, as if pain had never been in their lives at all. He was about to go to them when a voice from behind stopped him._

_"Leave them be, they're happy now." Komui spun around and saw his mother smiling at him; her dark hair glowing and a lovely smile on her face._

_"Why do you grieve if they're happy?" She asked._

_"It's my fault..."_

_"So you are the Millennium Earl and created Akumas'?'_

_"What? No!"_

_"You are a Noah?"_

_"No."_

_"Have an alliance with darkness?"_

_"Never."_

_"If you are none of these things, then why are you guilty?"_

_"I could have protected them better.." His mother scoffed._

_"Foolish boy! What could you have possibly done besides dying yourself?"_

_"I-" His mother cut him off._

_"Nothing. When will you realize there was _**nothing **_you could have done?" Komui just looked at the ground, unable to answer. He heard his mother sigh tiredly, before two arms encircled him and he found himself being hugged._

_"I talked to both of them you know." She whispered in his ear,_

_"And do you know what they both want you to do? He hesitantly shook his head, afraid of the answer._

_"Live and be happy."_

* * *

He awoke to find tears sliding down his cheeks. It felt like a heavy burden had been lifted from his heart. Getting up, he went over to a window and looked out side. The sun was shining.

"Boss, you alright?" He heard River ask nervously behind him. He turned and looked at River with an impish grin glued to his face.

"I've never felt better."

His heart wasn't completely healed; it never would be.

But he didn't mind.

Somewhere up above two souls smiled down at him while dancing on the clouds.

End.


End file.
